The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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