I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
