Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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