you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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