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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.

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