Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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