just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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