yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
