there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
