Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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