paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
