took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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