Small penises have feelings too.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
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Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude