Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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