So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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