i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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