We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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