PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize