Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
