Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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