Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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