Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
