Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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