I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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