I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dignity is for republicans.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize