trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
