I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
