i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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