my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
