Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
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There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
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NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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