I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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