Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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