Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
