just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
