it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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