Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
