Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
