I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
