either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize