Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
