Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I wear drunk well.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
