I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
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