help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
