I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
