Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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