Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
