He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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