So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
