I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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