all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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