wanna go halves on a baby?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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