at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
