no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
