Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
