he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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