We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
