Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
