Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
