Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
