Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
