yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
