i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
