I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
