Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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