Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
