You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
